elephant

hello everyone~ meet the elephant that goes "quack"!

(yes, "quack". like a duck.)

said elephant



for those who don't get it, here you go:

i'm back!

not so much in a physical sense, but i'm backkkk~ in two ways =D

firstly, i'm finally WELL AGAIN. yes, i am! at long last. i came down with food poisoning last monday. lasted for one and a half week. was really nasty, what with countless times of throwing up, constant feeling of nausea, fatigue cos food all thrown up and i had no appetite, watery diarrhea hehe i hope you're not reading this while eating or going to eat. but man, coming down with flu isn't as bad as experiencing food poisoning. hate the nausea and general feeling of malaise.

and also, i was eating nothing but bread and porridge the whole time! i was SO HAPPY when i finally got my appetite back on thursday! and can eat rice! and lauk. but i'm still watching what i eat now: no dairy stuff, no fried stuff, no oily stuff, etc. i'm sure you all won't find it hard to understand all the different kinds of food i'm craving to eat now! but baby steps, baby steps... chinese new year is coming... i'm gonna go on a crazy eating rampage then! HAH. oh boyyy i'm seriously craving for carbonaraaaaa... most western food actually. oh and SASHIMI oh boy oh boy i really wanna eat sashimi~!

and nah, i don't think i lost much weight although some have commented that i look as though i have. anyhoo, even if i did lose weight, i'll prolly gain them back soon.

secondly, as i was on my way to recovering but not quite there yet, i had a few panicky days about some stuff i had to do... PRONTO. sigh, my procrastinating nature might just land me in deep shit this time. how bad is it? well, it didn't really register in my mind that the procedure will take that long. like, really long. so very long that most who had to, sent in their letters as early as october last year, or maybe even earlier? bad enough that i'm some champion procrastinator, but it's made even worse by the fact that i can be the blurrest ever when it comes to certain things. like, really really blur and clueless.

how bad is it? instead of being sensible and on time by sending in my letter around october last year like most did, i realised i had yet to do so. and i'm talking bout mid january, only do i start panicking and flapping around like some harried chicken losing its head. so on top of not feeling well, i was also feeling DAMN scared and panicky... i couldn't sleep, i couldn't sit still, i couldn't do ANYthing but worry and worry and worry some more and then worry even more that i'm worrying so much that i won't get well in time and then this will make me hit a high in worrying and go into the nirvana of worrying which is the highest level of worry one can possibly achieve *cough*

well, as it goes, when it comes to this, you do what you can do. so i did just that, and finally handed in my letter by hand last thursday. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take too long and that everything will be done in time. in time meaning at least la before i have to do my presentation and not after!!!! *mini panics* cos you see, i have one more letter to hand in but i can only do so after this one gets approved, and the second approval takes time toooo so this had all better be settled latest by end of next month please please please.

but i'm being optimistic for now and hope things will turn out ok. at least i'm not longer the wreck i was during those few days when i was all panicky and crazily worried and stressed out. i'm guessing that me being sick made me all the more panicky cos all i wanted to do was to GET WELL so i can prepare my letter ASAP. so yeah, i was a crazy stressed out wreck, so stressed that i could hardly even stand the thought of it. it was one of the least pleasant experience i had.

but like i said, i'm backkk~ meaning i'm no longer sick! and also back to being bouncy positive me. i'm so positive that i can acknowledge that the experience wasn't all bad. mum really jaga-ed me when i was sick, and in some crazy attack of stress, she was the one i cried to -_- ok i didn't really cry as in cry *tries to redeem self* i was really sick and panicky okayyyyy *cough*. and then, friends who were concerned even though they didn't know what was going on and i was too panicky to talk to them about it. and poor wen, whom i called her in a panic quite a few times regarding the letter thingy and procedures etc... cos she was in the exact same boat as i was haha. also, the few coursemates, those who did the letter last year, were really helpful and concerned when i asked them frantically about the whole thing.

(wah what is this, acceptance speech kah?)

... and brian, who's the most supportive, caring, sweet boyfriend everrr. ok la won't disgust you guys about the many details you probably do not want to hear. like how he got me some bacteria so i can get better. yah, so now i eat bacteria every morning before sarapan. mmmm~.

... and a happy new year

i do realise that i haven't been blogging for quite a while. and my previous entries were hardly proper blog posts, ahah, shy. surprisingly, i didn't blog last month. december is usually my favourite month, cos there's always CHRISTMAS~ =D but nah, didn't feel the Christmas mood much this year, was too busy running around. Christmas eve wasn't that awesome as i attempted to do some last minute shopping (no i wasn't crazy, i didn't have much choice larr). so i practically spent the eve getting lost amongst the shopping crowd, waiting for the ktm and theN squishing myself in packed ktm. yeah, not exactly very... uh, Christmas-y? only felt a bit more Christmas-sy after going for midnight mass, to celebrate the "bird" of Christ. what, that was how the pastor pronounced it =P

so yeah, how was youR Christmas? mine was pretty ok =) on the day itself i spent some time with my parents, something i haven't done in quite a bit. and it was nice to spend the last few hours of Christmas with someone i wanted to spend it with... plus a little toy elephant that goes quack =)

ok i know i'm a bit late la, talking about Christmas -_- now that it's already the new year. fine, new year's eve kinda rocked too. there you go. haha and oh my gosh, i just checked facebook and... argh incriminating picturessssss -_-

new year's eve. fireworks were awesome, as we were practically standing right under them. awesome and a little scary, but very thrilling =) it was also a day of realisation wth. nah, i just know that i'll need to learn to be more attentive, more mature =) especially when something means this much to us.

on another note, i just finished the alchemist the day before. perhaps the timing is just right, especially when someone has just seriously spoken to me about it. although the book is kinda a tad too spiritual for me. however, i got the main message.

and i'll find my personal legend. i should've done it a long time ago.

oh and by the way, happy new year to all =) i suddenly miss friends that i haven't seen in a while. sigh.