sometimes doing the right thing isn't exactly the smartest choice. but then again, it depends on how you look at it.
although what's obvious now is that... if i do things the way they are doing it, it sure as hell will save me a lot of time. not to mention lower my level of stress.
i was fine, initially. i finally accepted it as such, and decided to do the best i can with whatever i had. i mean, heck, that's what research is all about, right. plus it's a learning process. cheh, philosophical.
but talking to someone yesterday, i got pretty disheartened. she was gonna do this canggih thingy, which i was all for it - i mean, it's great that she has all this initiative.
and then i discovered that, she had done some changes to her data, and this produced nice results, and thus, enabled her to do the canggih thingy. now really, i memang know there are people who do stuff to their data. not like it's a real shocker or anything. but there she was, going to do this canggih thing, telling me of others who are doing/have done changes to their data. i wasn't shocked or surprised la. i just felt really disheartened there and then. there they are, with their nice results, and on the other hand, i have... nothing to show.
i'm not judging her or them, k. i'm certainly not in a position to do that. and it's really none of my business what they do. all i'm saying is that, i felt disheartened la. and kinda stupid, haih.
i'll be honest though - it's something i'm very tempted to do. really. i'm not a saint la. but i guess at the end of the day, i wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it. coward -_-
no la not cowardly la. i just feel that i'll be letting a lot of people down. plus, as much as my work sucks (it really DOES suck -_-), i still have this teensy bit of respect for it.
[edit] i do feel better now. few people have put things into perspective for me.
when doing the right thing makes you feel stupid
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
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3 tortoises in a row!:
hey, what matters is what u believe it's right.
i'm learning to also just look at my own work and stop comparing with others. :) well...in terms of songwriting and scriptwriting...haha..still a looooong way to go.
plenty of perspective you need la sherry dear.
1. why aren't you in a position to judge? of course you can judge, what more when you're in the exact same position. why does it have to feel like it's a bad thing or negative thing to feel that way towards them...
2. dah la you know you won't be able to do it, you know you won't be able to do it from the start. and no, you shouldn't feel stupid or have nothing to show. you have plenty to show. your honesty. your hard work. your principles. holding your head and conscience clear. and it's enough even if the work looks the ugliest. it's worth more than their pretty results and pretty reports.
3. correct. it isn't cowardly. it's cowardly to take the easy way out or the ways that prettify things that should have stayed the way they were.
that said, hope you're surviving at least. and don't emo!
thanks for giving me perspective heh. i feel better edi, not so emo anymore. and i guess i no longer have that lingering bitterness =D
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