finally final finals finale fish

final final exam tomorrow and i'm totally not into the mood for studying. party mode kicking in too early O_O and the subject is... MOTIVATION and human achievement. yes the irony. no motivation to study about motivation. *cough*

and can't wait to get over and done with my thesis. seriously man, it makes me feel damn impatient when i think about it. ITCHING to get it off my back. all done and dusted.

come wednesday, MALACCA! and then (hopefully) SINGAPORE!!!

(yes yes i will do my thesis while on these trips! shhh don't nag me)

back to study~ *hums*

gotta meet the plane
so i can get my monkey
teach him to be cool
but a little bit funky

spot the tortoise

=)


... ok now i should REALLY get a move on studying. exam on tues wed thurs and i have not touched my notes. *nervous* -_-

as you wish

aha, i know this is reallllyyy late but it doesn't mean i am any less grateful =) thanks to everyone for their wishes, and to those who celebrated with me as well. special thanks for those who did some planning, you know who you are =) thankiuuu especially since i was being extra anti-social during that time (and up until now T_T).

the cake is a pie



i didn't get a nice picture of the pretty box filled with chocolates and the bear =( but er, rest assured, the bear's nicely on my bed and the chocolates all in my tummy haha no la i'm not such a glutton! *cough*

thanks guys. and girls =P

*hugs everyone*


oh and the blog title may seem a bit out of place, but it is not! i was just mucking around online the other day, being really sick... er, in the literal sense and but also sick of doing work.

and i stumbled across the princess bride! =D it's gotta be one of my favourite movies right now, it's damn nice! really! and damn funny too. title of the movie may sound like it's some mindless cliched fairytale, but the movie's really tongue in cheek.

also, it doesn't hurt that the hero's so damn cute =D



the moment he appeared, i gasped and hit the pause button =P



sorry, i have a thing for floppy haired cute guys =D



*melts* (ok yeah sorry la too busy staring at his pic to think of a caption)



"as you wish."



for most part of the movie he looked like this.
as much as i liked the floppy haired farm-boy look,
i much preferred his character becoming sarcastic and damn yeng.



anyway, the movie's bout more than 20 years old. so yeah, you know how some guys age really well and look sexier as they grow older? well, the actor i was swooning over? ... he didn't age that well -_- haih not that he's ugly la, just... nevermind, let me go back to staring at his young self. *cough*

ok as much as i like staring at him i'm not that superficial la. my favourite scene out of the movie is the fencing scene, so there.

"hello. my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father. prepare to die."

geez i'm such a geek.

when doing the right thing makes you feel stupid

sometimes doing the right thing isn't exactly the smartest choice. but then again, it depends on how you look at it.

although what's obvious now is that... if i do things the way they are doing it, it sure as hell will save me a lot of time. not to mention lower my level of stress.

i was fine, initially. i finally accepted it as such, and decided to do the best i can with whatever i had. i mean, heck, that's what research is all about, right. plus it's a learning process. cheh, philosophical.

but talking to someone yesterday, i got pretty disheartened. she was gonna do this canggih thingy, which i was all for it - i mean, it's great that she has all this initiative.

and then i discovered that, she had done some changes to her data, and this produced nice results, and thus, enabled her to do the canggih thingy. now really, i memang know there are people who do stuff to their data. not like it's a real shocker or anything. but there she was, going to do this canggih thing, telling me of others who are doing/have done changes to their data. i wasn't shocked or surprised la. i just felt really disheartened there and then. there they are, with their nice results, and on the other hand, i have... nothing to show.

i'm not judging her or them, k. i'm certainly not in a position to do that. and it's really none of my business what they do. all i'm saying is that, i felt disheartened la. and kinda stupid, haih.

i'll be honest though - it's something i'm very tempted to do. really. i'm not a saint la. but i guess at the end of the day, i wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it. coward -_-

no la not cowardly la. i just feel that i'll be letting a lot of people down. plus, as much as my work sucks (it really DOES suck -_-), i still have this teensy bit of respect for it.


[edit] i do feel better now. few people have put things into perspective for me.

24

even now, it's still my go to song at times like this. not for the lack of songs in my playlist, but this song always hits the right chord in me.

(but sometimes it inadvertently makes me think of how switchfoot DIDN'T PERFORM THIS SONG IN MALAYSIA kenapaaaaa T_T)

(and then i think of how SINGAPORE always gets the upper hand in awesome concerts. argh.)

ok ok digressing. i need to stop complaining cos even though JASON MRAZ came to malaysia, i didn't go. sighh.

24 on loooooop.

o hai

so far things have been going pretty decently =) avalanche of assignments, plus the ever looming thesis deadline... but i should be okay, i think. what's more, i've been getting tremendous support and help from many. i am one very lucky person.

... afterthought. a lot of things i have to put on hold, or push to the back of my mind for now. not that they are any less important, but in terms of urgency, perhaps it's best that i attend to them later. i do not have the time and the emotional capacity to worry about these matters, at least not for now. just saying. lest i give the impression that i do not want to make any effort or something.

aaaaand that's all folks =)

I am...

... really worried and really stressed and really scared.

... blaming myself because it is of my own doing.

... suddenly overcome by it all.

... crying and i can't stop.

... damn scared, even now, during the calm before the storm.

... hoping really hard that everything will turn out okay in the end.


sorry, weak moment. i still can't stop crying (attack of the tears wth). and it's probably lack of sleep and so many things running through my mind and i just can't stop thinking and worrying ARGH.


[edit] i just had a bit of good news! things are looking up a bit. still stressed, but no more weak moment. =)

[edit edit] sangat terharu. i have the awesomest friends ever =) to those who offered words of comfort, offered to help, already helping me, you guys are awesome la. words can't describe how grateful and blessed i feel.