the tortoise rambles...

since i'm in the mood for rambling aimlessly i shall tell an aimless incident which of course has no particular significance because it was an aimless incident.

and since i suck at telling aimless stories i shall intro the characters first. for convenience sake.

one would be my dad's good friend's 25-yr-old son whom we shall call Boy.

the other would be my aunt's sister's 2nd daughter (early 20s) whom we shall call Girl.

(do not comment on my lack of creativity for their nicks la.)

so last night in the car on the way to dinner, my parents were talking bout Boy cos he and his family were coming to visit us from seremban the next day which would be today.

(they're all out having lunch with my family but i didnt go. i have a very delicate stomach *coughDIARRHEAcough*)

so they were talking bout Boy and Girl and how to matchmake them cos... i dunno? maybe if u're already 25 you should be married and having babies and living in a white house with picket fence.

me and sis couldnt help looking at each other incredulously.

and there were my parents, strategizing on how to bring Boy to meet Girl without the whole thing seeming obvious and forced. but oh dear me, there was already a problem. Girl and her family busy vacationing in cameron's and might not make it back in time to meet Boy! *gasp*

then my parents figured that if Girl and family will be back in time it wouldn't make much sense to suddenly pop up at her house with Boy in tow.

it was then i couldnt keep quiet any longer, what with my tendency to make snide remarks.

so, i said in mock english accent, "perhaps we could tell them 'oh, we were just passing by and needed to use your toilet!' "

at which my dad exclaimed vehemently, "how can u say that?! what sort of 'trick' - people will laugh at us! you ideas worse than daddy's and mummy's la!"

and my mum exclaimed equally vehemently, "ya la! what kind of an excuse is that - need to use toilet! where will people believe?!"

.............

like, WTH?!?!?!?!?!?!

i swear, my jaw totally dropped, and i started banging my head against the window.

HONESTLY.

but me and sis just couldnt help laughing at the... ridiculousness of it all. wth man, sarcasm is totally wasted on my parents, no matter how obvious or cliched it is.

but yeah, they're still quite keen on matchmaking Boy and Girl. mum was going on about 'chemistry' and 'sparks' and dad was saying even if long distance (seremban-kl) it wouldnt matter if u're in love.

wah, why not just plan the wedding like right now?

nvm if Boy is quiet, shy type and Girl sticks to her three sisters and any means of communication within even 2 feet of each other seems almost impossible.

and if any of u are wondering how come i'm not jumping on Boy who happens to be an eligible bachelor and will be inheriting his father's shoe business soon and doesnt look too bad and is presumably nice and friendly and... er, where was i?

haha... just kidding. he's all i mentioned, so anyone interested with settling in seremban with nice Boy can contact moi.

oh, and isnt it lucky my parents didnt think of matchmaking me and him? shhh, don't tell my parents, but they probably don't realise i'm turning 20 this year.

nyahaha.









[[update]]

omfg my parents are serious.

o.O

they all just came back for lunch and parents were talking bout Girl to Boy and his family. in fact mum is calling right now to find out if Girl is back from cameron's.

o.O

poor Boy is having to sit through all this.

o.O

i am having the time of my life. wahaha. XD

......

*listens in on phone conversation*

...... apparently Girl has gone off to genting highlands.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

so kesian la. unrequited... erm, matchmaking.

tsk. didn't know my parents can be so amusing.









*yes, i know i damn boh liao but it's freaking hot and i'm freaking sick with flu and diarrhea.

**and no worries, i'm still sexy even with flu and diarrhea.

***omfg stands for "oh my freaking gosh". i'm not blasphemous.