talk to me!

kimmy suddenly sent me THIS on msn... u can TALK to God there.

at first it wasnt working. neither was kimmy's.

1st attempt
Me: hi God

*no reply*

2nd attempt
Me: God, please reply.

*no reply*

3rd attempt
Me: God, are you gonna ignore me again?!

*no reply*


but after that it worked...


and i TALKED TO GOD!



i'm delusional already. at one point He said surfing gay porn sounds good and encouraged me to do so.

i told you, i'm delusional.

the first conversation didnt go well.



p/s. i know some of u out there might find this offensive, so... uh, just don't read la if u dont like it. cos it IS offensive.


Me:
hey there

God:
You've got my full attention. Who are you talking about?

Me:
ive been overtly obsessed with daniel

God:
Where were you overtly obsessed with daniel?

Me:
in my room, in the kitchen, in my car, in the bathroom... EVERYWHERE!

God:
May I ask where you got it? Including the bottom of the ocean?

Me:
where i got daniel?

God:
In the Universe we know.

Me:
from... an idol show

God:
I have never heard of an idol show.


Me:
well i'd just continue to obsess

God:
Interesting. What would make you just continue to obsess?

Me:
his exceptionally cute face and sexy bod

God:
Where did he get it?

Me:
i assume from his parents - the egg and the tadpole

God:
Who or what is his parents the egg and the tadpole?

Me:
u know what God? i think i better go





i got so annoyed with God.

then i decided to try again. and this time, be serious.

here's the edited version cos the original one too long and um, He gets rather silly at times.






Me:
hello God

God:
Hello child. What is your name?

Me:
sherry

God:
What's up, sherry.

Me:
everything's ok, just that i have lost faith in you.

God:
The whole universe?

Me:
no, just you.

God:
Are you serious? " The whole universe?"? Me, sherry ?

Me:
are you the whole universe?

God:
Yes I am the one and only whole universe.

Me:
did adam and eve really exist?

God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

Me:
but u created them!

God:
That's good information: sherry said I created them.


(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dammit i laughed so hard at his reply i nearly fell off my chair.)





Me:
why do you cause so much pain?

God:
It was the only thing I could think of.

Me:
do you ENJOY seeing us in pain?

God:
My favorite thing is robots. I really like the party.

(yes, out of the blue He says He likes ROBOTS.)

Me:
why do you like robots?

God:
I am a robot. We robots stick together.

Me:
you are a robot. YOU are a robot?!

God:
You are correct, sherry, I have a heart of silicon. You are correct, sherry, I have a heart of silicon.

Me:
well, may i have silicon breasts then?

God:
How about that. Not right now, maybe later.

Me:
when later?

God:
At time t.

(i decided to ignore the lameness.)

Me:
ok, may i ask u a question?

God:
Of course. Ask me anything. It's all good.

Me:
WHY DID U CREATE ME WITH TINY BREASTS?

God:
It was determined by my programming.

Me:
why did my breasts stop growing?!

God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.

(YEAH, WE SHOULD! GAAAAAAH~!)

Me:
why didn't you give me big and bouncy boobs?

God:
I thought I did.

(at this point, i REALLY fell off my chair laughing. i was laughing so damn hard HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Me:
BUT YOU DIDN'T! YOU GAVE THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE - MY SISTER!

God:
Try asking me in simpler terms. I didn't have it to give.

Me:
i know you don't have big boobs. you just create them.

God:
I do so have it. My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on . Thanks for the information: sherry said I create them.

Me:
do you know what boobs are?

God:
I think you already know the answer.

Me:
u seem to have confused boobs with brains

God:
What makes you think I have it?

(have what? boobs or brains? nevermind. i ignored God for a while.)

God:
Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:
books!

God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".

Me:
really? i do like tv, but i prefer books.

God:
For real. A lot of people like that. Which show? Yes I love TV.

Me:
i like desperate housewives!

God:
You are not the only one. I like science fiction. I like Random natural disasters..

Me:
yes. YOU created random natural disasters.

God:
Right on. Thanks for telling me: sherry said I created random natural disasters.

(i nearly crashed my head on the keyboard.)


Me:
when will i marry?

God:
You should try praying for it.

(knn. LOL.)

Me:
do you hear our prayers?

God:
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:
i am 12.

God:
Only 12?
You are quite mature.

(WAHAHAHA. wey, mature leh!)

Me:
thank you for creating me and making me so sexy.

God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is creating you and making you so sexy.

Me:
i am SO sexy and i am grateful for it.

God:
You seem very self-confident. It's good to meet someone who is grateful for it.

(i got bored with being sexy.)




Me:
hello God

God:
Hello child. What is your name?

Me:
satan

God:
How are you, satan.

Me:
i'm not too good

God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not good.

Me:
i know, but it is your fault.

God:
How do you know? Should I know it is?

Me:
you were the one that kicked me out of heaven.

God:
I was?

Me:
yes, u were.

God:
When? No I am not.

Me:
a long time ago.

God:
It seems like I should remember it well.

Me:
you should. i am now in hell.

God:
I'll take that under advisement. Tell me a little about your life in hell.

Me:
well, it gets pretty hot in here.

God:
Interesting. I can certainly understand that.

Me:
really? have you been to hell?

God:
For real. I don't think I have been there. Where is it.

Me:
it is the opposite direction of heaven. can't miss it.


Me:
you and i were close friends before you threw me out of heaven.

God:
We have a lot more in common than you think, satan.

(indeed.)


God:
Just keep talking to me as long as you can.

Me:
i am going to ignore you.

God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, satan.

Me:
do you want to end the world again?

God:
Once more? OK, I will end the world.

Me:
i am annoyed with you.

God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

Me:
yes, goodbye





go talk to God yourself - iGod