i'm back!

not so much in a physical sense, but i'm backkkk~ in two ways =D

firstly, i'm finally WELL AGAIN. yes, i am! at long last. i came down with food poisoning last monday. lasted for one and a half week. was really nasty, what with countless times of throwing up, constant feeling of nausea, fatigue cos food all thrown up and i had no appetite, watery diarrhea hehe i hope you're not reading this while eating or going to eat. but man, coming down with flu isn't as bad as experiencing food poisoning. hate the nausea and general feeling of malaise.

and also, i was eating nothing but bread and porridge the whole time! i was SO HAPPY when i finally got my appetite back on thursday! and can eat rice! and lauk. but i'm still watching what i eat now: no dairy stuff, no fried stuff, no oily stuff, etc. i'm sure you all won't find it hard to understand all the different kinds of food i'm craving to eat now! but baby steps, baby steps... chinese new year is coming... i'm gonna go on a crazy eating rampage then! HAH. oh boyyy i'm seriously craving for carbonaraaaaa... most western food actually. oh and SASHIMI oh boy oh boy i really wanna eat sashimi~!

and nah, i don't think i lost much weight although some have commented that i look as though i have. anyhoo, even if i did lose weight, i'll prolly gain them back soon.

secondly, as i was on my way to recovering but not quite there yet, i had a few panicky days about some stuff i had to do... PRONTO. sigh, my procrastinating nature might just land me in deep shit this time. how bad is it? well, it didn't really register in my mind that the procedure will take that long. like, really long. so very long that most who had to, sent in their letters as early as october last year, or maybe even earlier? bad enough that i'm some champion procrastinator, but it's made even worse by the fact that i can be the blurrest ever when it comes to certain things. like, really really blur and clueless.

how bad is it? instead of being sensible and on time by sending in my letter around october last year like most did, i realised i had yet to do so. and i'm talking bout mid january, only do i start panicking and flapping around like some harried chicken losing its head. so on top of not feeling well, i was also feeling DAMN scared and panicky... i couldn't sleep, i couldn't sit still, i couldn't do ANYthing but worry and worry and worry some more and then worry even more that i'm worrying so much that i won't get well in time and then this will make me hit a high in worrying and go into the nirvana of worrying which is the highest level of worry one can possibly achieve *cough*

well, as it goes, when it comes to this, you do what you can do. so i did just that, and finally handed in my letter by hand last thursday. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take too long and that everything will be done in time. in time meaning at least la before i have to do my presentation and not after!!!! *mini panics* cos you see, i have one more letter to hand in but i can only do so after this one gets approved, and the second approval takes time toooo so this had all better be settled latest by end of next month please please please.

but i'm being optimistic for now and hope things will turn out ok. at least i'm not longer the wreck i was during those few days when i was all panicky and crazily worried and stressed out. i'm guessing that me being sick made me all the more panicky cos all i wanted to do was to GET WELL so i can prepare my letter ASAP. so yeah, i was a crazy stressed out wreck, so stressed that i could hardly even stand the thought of it. it was one of the least pleasant experience i had.

but like i said, i'm backkk~ meaning i'm no longer sick! and also back to being bouncy positive me. i'm so positive that i can acknowledge that the experience wasn't all bad. mum really jaga-ed me when i was sick, and in some crazy attack of stress, she was the one i cried to -_- ok i didn't really cry as in cry *tries to redeem self* i was really sick and panicky okayyyyy *cough*. and then, friends who were concerned even though they didn't know what was going on and i was too panicky to talk to them about it. and poor wen, whom i called her in a panic quite a few times regarding the letter thingy and procedures etc... cos she was in the exact same boat as i was haha. also, the few coursemates, those who did the letter last year, were really helpful and concerned when i asked them frantically about the whole thing.

(wah what is this, acceptance speech kah?)

... and brian, who's the most supportive, caring, sweet boyfriend everrr. ok la won't disgust you guys about the many details you probably do not want to hear. like how he got me some bacteria so i can get better. yah, so now i eat bacteria every morning before sarapan. mmmm~.